So cold

My mum always says that I'm a warm lovable person but I beg to differ. I am a total anti-social person. That doesn't mean that I dont know how to act accordingly when meeting new people. Im just very aloof. Yes I can be warm, welcoming, funny and all that but that does not mean I am that sort of person. I'm not a happy go lucky person. I don't initiate contact with strangers (depends I guess, need to make friends somehow). I can be a very cold heartless bitch. I can be very dismissive to another persons feelings. I guess sort of selfish maybe. Like I can totally just cut myself out of any emotional attachement I have to another person if I really want to and not care about their feelings, well thats the only way. I can do it without batting an eyelash. It's easy for me to detach myself from emotions. Like I can just totally not care about the person. I guess it can be considered selfish right? Just thinking about myself and no one else no matter who the person is.
Don't get me wrong, I can sympathies and empathize. Easy. I have all human emotions of course, I'm not a robot. Gosh. But I can turn my heart to stone towards a person. Call it a curse. I call it a gift. Its helpful in the long run in regards to heartbreak I guess right? or whatever.  But I guess its also evil. I'm sure you are wondering how can I just ignore a person that I said I love and who loves me back just like that. Overnight just totally decide to mold and shape my heart into a rock towards that person.
My answer: I just do.
I'm not saying that I enjoy seeing other people hurt, I guess in a way its a coping mechanism.
Did I just lose you?
Well, I can't fully explain myself to you now can I?
I shouldn't even be trying actually. So whats the point to this post really?
Good question. I don't know myself.
I guess it's just to remind everyone that I can be a very cold hearted bitch and there's not much you can do about it but accept it and move on. And if for some reason the bitch took you out;well, that's just it there's a reason.